Episode 17 Transcript

Want to Keep Motivated? How to Overcome Negativity on Your Weight Loss Journey

June 15, 2023 by Lucy Laramie

Lucy: Let's talk about how to overcome that voice in your head that wonders if you can succeed in your weight loss journey. You know that voice, right? The one interfering in your head saying: "Psssst hey! You haven't been able to do this before, so why do you think you can do it now?" And, you just wish you had a magic switch to turn off the noise in your head. Well friend, let's talk about how to shut it off so that you can achieve your goals! I'm Lucy Laramie and this is Weight Loss Made Possible! I'm here to share what I have learned from my 100 pound weight loss journey to help you achieve a transformation that gives you freedom!

[Intro Music] 3, 2, 1 Let's go! Ain't no limit! Tell em there ain't nothing stopping you. Taking off! Weight loss made possible. Plenty ups and downs but she won't fail. Lucy show em how to reinvent yourself! They say life is a challenge and you can overcome it, it don't matter what happens you ain't stopping for nothing! Do it like a boss. You know what we about to do. Take off! Weight Loss Made Possible! Let's go! You want to learn how to lose weight from someone who has done it before, right? Subscribe now! 

Lucy: Here's the thing! Everyone talks about the importance of diet and exercise for weight loss, but so many people overlook the value of cultivating the right mindset. And, I think of it like this: you might find the right vehicle, but you're not going to get anywhere if you don't put gas in the car, right? What I see so often is people sitting in the car and banging their head on the steering wheel, because the car won't go. And, then the question becomes: how do I stay motivated? Like, how do I keep gas in the car so I can keep going? And, the truth is that so many people are doing their journey backwards. They find the car and then go searching for gas. But, the truth is that if you find the gas first, you will put yourself in a position to use many cars and routes to get where you want to go. Have you ever watched a show or movie about a zombie apocalypse? Everyone is running past the abandoned cars and they are searching for gas! And, what I deeply believe is that gas, meaning motivation and mindset, is the critical factor to success on a weight loss journey. Yet, just like like that interfering voice in your head that feels challenging to shut off and spits questions at you like: "Can I do this? Do I deserve this? What if I fail?" It's not as simple as pushing a button that transports you to a magical mindset filled with sunshine and rainbows and glitter and such! So where is the balance? And, how do you find it when your life is screaming at you: "You need to change this now or else! You need to do better and be better!" And, ugh! There's an extra layer of frustration when, in the midst of this, your brain starts comparing you to what everyone else that has seemed to accomplish and you're sitting there stuck and thinking: "Why can't I....?" And there's this looming sense of doom, because we all know that change is inevitable and comes either by choice or force. And there you are feeling trapped, but also trying to get it together, because you want the change to be on your terms. And, if this all feels relatable, I'm here to tell you I understand, because I have been there before! I've stood with that feeling of awkwardness as I tried to figure it all out while hoping that no one can see the terrible mess that's going on in my head. There was so much time spent as an ugly caterpillar before growing butterfly wings. And, I'm here to tell you that this time is not wasted, but what you do with it is what makes the difference. 

Let's step back in time for a moment to the day everything shifted in my life that would lead me to the lessons I needed to learn in order to find lasting success on my weight loss journey. There I stood at an awkward crossroads in my life that was about to have a bunch of gasoline dumped on it and be lit on fire. Talk about making decisions under pressure, you gotta think fast when things are on fire, right? So many people believe age 12 to be the most awkward age in life. That's the year where you are at the intersection between childhood and adolescence and headed towards puberty. But, for me that awkward age was 29. There I was at 29 at a crossroads between what I was and what I would become, and that voice in my head was louder than ever. At 29, enough time had passed to start a foundation in life, but there was still plenty of life to be lived. Let's look at what life was like at that time: I had earned a bachelor's degree, had embarked on a graduate program, and had secured a good entry-level job that resulted in a promotion. My role as a program manager for a large, well-known non-profit included designing, building, and operating a program to help at-risk youth complete high school, attend college, or get a job. The program was a success, and funding for subsequent years depended on the success of projects in the next three months.  Many of the young people we helped had incredible stories to tell. That's why we wanted to continue it. With the help they received, the youth worked miracles in their lives. 

One Friday in October, I stayed late at a high school site to talk with one of the girls who was struggling.  As a single mom, she worked nights at a poultry factory while trying to finish her high school diploma during the day.  Often only getting two hours of sleep a night.  She was starting to run out of steam, and with graduation approaching, there was so much desire to see her cross the finish line! The opportunity to assist hardworking students like her was worth a couple extra hours on a Friday evening before the weekend began.

Having wrapped up things with her, the transition from her rural school site to my high rise condo in downtown Atlanta meant a lengthy drive. It was an October evening, and I was observing the leaves on the trees beginning to change color as my car headed south towards the city.  In addition to the gorgeous leaves, the sky was also changing color as sunset sunk in. My mind felt peaceful as I cleared my thoughts for the weekend.  There's something special about Friday evenings when you feel the satisfaction of a week's accomplishments and look forward to a relaxing weekend.  

What happened next was something I never expected or saw coming. Suddenly, it sounded like a bomb had gone off.  My car had been struck from behind by an 18-wheel tractor trailer which was not paying attention to traffic. It was as if a nuclear bomb had just struck my world, and everything that followed was chaotic and terrifying.  In an instant, everything I knew as normal was leveled to the ground and needed to be rebuilt or reprioritized. This was a catastrophic failure in my life in which everything went haywire at once. Everything I had built and that was familiar went poof in a single moment, and rebuilding my life required years of struggle. There is a saying that sometimes bad things in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things in our lives.  Although I could not see it at the time, I would learn that this is true.  My mind raced with questions like: What about the program I created and its funding? What about the young people who relied on it? My master's degree program was in progress. What about that? How about me? Would my health be okay? Can you imagine all the things going through my head? So many questions and so few answers. 

And, I learned a valuable lesson that would lead me to success in my weight loss journey. Usually, when you need directions, you pull out a map or ask someone for guidance.  It was not possible in this case to do so.  There was a lot at stake, and I had to figure it all out on the fly without any manual. This catastrophe served as a wake-up call for me to step into healing and into my purpose.  I had to quickly figure out what was most significant to me and my life, and prioritize what I valued. There's a quote that says: “Success is not built on success. It is built on failure. It is built on frustration. Sometimes it is built on catastrophe.” I'm not sure who the quote belongs to, but it has always resonated with me when I think about my situation.  

Over time, I came to realize that my fears would become my guiding light. By determining what I was fighting for and why, I was able to shift my fear into motivation.  Rather than fearing the unknown, I feared not making progress in order to manufacture motivation.  You must understand your fears if you want to overcome them.  When you run from your fears, you are more likely to fail. You must realize that fear is a source of knowledge about yourself and your life.  When you are placed in situations where you must grow, you realize how true this is. Maybe you wonder: How can fear and failure even be a guiding light? Fear and failure are calls for action, and ask us to choose a direction.  Fear can be a navigational tool that tells you which way to go or even not to go. 

The problem is that when you attempt to run from negative experiences and all the things that your shadow tries to invade your mind with, you will miss out on what these things have to teach you. Your shadow can be a menacing bully that you can't seem to evade. And, the worst part is when those thoughts start to creep in that who you are and what you are doing is not enough. Essentially, your brain is bullying you. And when you need to deal with a bully, what's more effective? To fight or to run? And, the reason why the answer to this question is so important, is because how you answer it determines whether you show up passive in your life or you step into your power and show up in your full totality. What I promise you is that life happens through you not to you. If you accept the perception that life is happening to you, the number of setbacks and problems begin to stack incredibly high and that overwhelming voice in your head will get louder. This is because a self protective approach to fear, shame, regret, humiliation and guilt can lead you to a self imposed mental prison. If you want to break out of jail, you must see these negative experiences as a guiding light. Listen, even after I lost the weight, I still spent a great deal of time as a fat girl in a smaller body, because my mindset had not caught up to the changes in my body. And, it sucks to put in the effort, and still feel mentally stuck. So how do you take what I have learned so that you can reach success faster? There are 3 ways to put gas in your car so to speak. You know how you go to the gas station and you can hit 1 of 3 buttons? Take your pick, friend! Or heck! Hit all 3 buttons and fuel it up like a kid creating a drink concoction at the soda machine. A little of this and a little of that! 

The first fuel for your journey is the audacity of authenticity. This is where you let go of who you think you're supposed to be and embrace who you are. It's where you cultivate the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries, and to allow yourself to be vulnerable. Remember how I stood at that crossroads at age 29 and thought I had so much figured out? I wouldn't be able to stand where I am today if I had remained attached to the life I had pictured in my head and had let life happen to me instead of through me. 

The second fuel for your journey is to avoid the comparison trap! This is your destructive tendency to compare yourself to others and judge your worth by how you stack up to superficial metrics. Yes, I have achieved weight loss success, and I never want you to compare your success to my own. I don't want anyone to have to get hit by a semi-truck in order to learn the lesson. I'm here to share what I have learned so you can take it and personalize the advice to your own journey. You are your biggest superpower on your journey, and comparing yourself to anyone else will erode your power! 

The third fuel for your journey is radical acceptance. This is when you clearly recognize what you are feeling in the present moment and regard that experience with compassion. My ability to learn this after the wreck became the catalyst to healing my wounds and transforming my entire world. When you can look at your experience with radical acceptance, you can discover wisdom and foster a deep love for yourself. 

To put this into action, you must walk away reflecting on this question: Are you doing enough to stop self-sabotage and start a more productive mental script? 

You know why this question is important, and as you continually ask yourself this, the how will become clear. 

Until next time, don't give up on the journey! It's challenging, but it's worth it! See you next week, friend!