Episode 19 Transcript

How to Achieve Weight Loss Motivation and Success by Overcoming Negative Thinking

July 7, 2023 by Lucy Laramie

Lucy: Have you ever been in a place where you know you want to lose weight, but you just lack the confidence about if you can stay motivated to do it and what life will be like in the process? Let's talk about how to open your mind to reprogramming for change, success and freedom, so that you can design a weight loss journey that empowers you and keeps you feeling motivated. I'm Lucy Laramie and this is Weight Loss Made Possible. I'm here to inspire and guide you to create a weight loss journey that energizes your inner power and ignites your life. 

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Lucy:

You know how if you drop a pebble into water, it can send a ripple effect through the water? A weight loss journey can be just like that. Sometimes you have no idea how far reaching the effects of what seems like small changes. And, when you don't immediately see the impact of the changes, you can find yourself wondering: "Am I wasting my time?" In a world where it can feel like there isn't enough time, this is a valid question. In fact, a study conducted in London that polled 2,000 people concluded that the average person wastes 26 days per year. And, that's more than double the number of vacation days that the average American worker gets. The average employee receives just 11 days of vacation. And, the issue of balancing time and effort was on my mind often during my weight loss journey. Like, is all of this effort going to end up to be a massive time suck that gets me no where and ends in a lot of embarrassment if I don't accomplish what I intend? And, sometimes when my mind would go down rabbit holes, often propelled by fear, I would find myself asking people close to me things like: Am I different? Have I changed? Am I better now? Was I really that way? As my body changed there were often moments that I still felt and thought like a "fat girl" just in a smaller body. And, when I'd ask for feedback from people close to me the response was usually positive. Yet, there was sometimes still doubt. Are people just telling me what they think I want to hear so they don't hurt my feelings? You find yourself contemplating if the feedback you receive is accurate. And this battle in your mind between what is real and what is not, can create a massive road block on the journey. However, there was one day on my journey when I was struck by how profound the ripple effect was of continuing to throw a pebble into the water, even if it didn't always land where I wanted. This is what happened that really made me say: "WOW!" As a child, my family ventured on many road trips. When you take a road trip in the United States, there are often long stretches of nothingness where everything just looks the same. And, one of my favorite parts of the trips was counting down the miles to the next city. There was a sense of excitement about seeing the city skyline come into view. And, I developed a sense of fascination with the creativity of architecture. So, naturally it was on my bucket list to want to live in a high rise building where I could see the city view. This goal was accomplished when I moved to Atlanta. My condo was situated one floor below the penthouse level with a north facing view of the city. When I relocated to Atlanta, the area was fairly underdeveloped, and I spent a fair amount of time looking out at the city and watching the skyline unfold and the city develop. More than 20 properties were developed from the view out my window during the time I lived there. When I first moved in, I could see the interstate wind through the center of the city, and by the time I left, it was not at all visible. Being so high up, there was a sense of quiet and removal from the hustle and bustle, yet the city would also live and breathe around you. And, one afternoon there I was curled up on the sofa in front of the large floor to ceiling window in my condo with a cup of coffee wasting time on my phone. But this was about to be a time that I would never set the phone down the same again. To me, most phone updates are mundane, and I don't really pay attention to them. Apple had released a feature that helped users to find and identify people in photos on iPhone. When I opened the photos app, I was prompted to identify and label photos of people I knew so that my phone could categorize them to make finding and searching photos easier. Seems like a handy feature, right? I looked at the list of people: ok, that's my grandma. ok, that's my cousin from her wedding. But, the next 8 pictures? They were all me, and I was shocked. My face had changed so much over the course of my weight loss journey that the iPhone software was recognizing me as 8 different people! There was part of me that questioned feedback from people close to me about change, but there it was on my phone in living color. And, the thing is we never know when that ah-ha moment or the breakthrough is coming, but we have to keep going and believe that it is coming. That day I set my phone down and got up from the couch, I walked back into the world with a completely different perspective of myself. And the question is this: When you look in the mirror, what do you choose to see? If you see anything other than opportunity, it's an indicator that fear is sabotaging your thought process. Yet, so many of us, myself included, have looked in the mirror and seen shame. When we see shame, the narrative in our heads becomes the most difficult part of the journey if we let it run unchecked. Brene Brown offers this quote that sums it up well. She says: "Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change." There are over 8 million species on earth, and only 3 can consistently recognize themselves in the mirror. Do you know which 3 those are? Orangutans, chimpanzees and humans. This ability to self-reflect changes everything for humans, and is a driving force for the human species to dominate the planet. When you struggle with your weight or self-esteem, looking at your reflection can feel more like a challenge than an advantage sometimes, right?  Mirrors can show growth and potential, and they can also reflect parts of yourself that you're not proud of. It's important to look at your reflection to keep evolving, and yet taking that peek at yourself can be triggering. You ask yourself: Can I achieve my deepest desires? Do I deserve to get exactly what I want? The problem is if you allow fear to answer that question, your mind can turn against you and become a road block in the journey. It can be tempting to find comfort in channeling that fear into fantasizing about the "what if." What if this, and what if that! Your mind can go on a journey all its own! And why that's such a big deal is because if you get lured into the comfort of channeling that fear into fantasizing about the "what if" yet not taking action. The risk is failure to consciously build your future self. Whereby you're stuck daydreaming about how awesome things could be while letting the audacity and accountability to claim it and step into your true power slip away. And, the problem with slipping into daydreaming and not taking action, is that when you stick your head in the clouds so to speak, the result is a lack of awareness. And when you lack the understanding that is born from awareness, the temptation is to cherry pick the explanation of your choice.  This is how ignorance in ourselves is bred and brought into the world. At all times, we are the product of understanding or the lack there of.  And when we choose to walk away from understanding, because what it takes to understand appears to be too much hard work, the result is a society constructed of half truths. These false narratives and half truths choke our dreams, because our lives always revolve around the narratives we believe. If we reject self-reflection because it is a humbling process, the result is that we will lack humility. It’s essential that we find out why we think, say and do certain things if we want to better ourselves. This often times requires us to swim against the status quo.  But, we didn’t become 3 in more than 8 million by avoiding the our reflection. We aren’t here to catch up to the status quo, we are here to invent the status quo. We must normalize humility, accountability and self-awareness. When you take a hard look at yourself and your life, it's critical to ask: What am I normalizing in my life? Is this what I want? The truth is that this hard look is critical to unlocking the extraordinary and shutting down the mediocre in your life. There is an understanding that it's important to take a hard look at yourself and your life, but when literally 1,000 things can happen in any given week and there can be so much noise in your head, how do you do it and do it effectively? How do you sort which experiences are most significant and worthy of scrutiny? Three things are worth paying attention to: things that surprise you, things that frustrate you, and things that fail. There is no doubt that surprise, frustration, and failure offer the biggest opportunities for growth and to rebuild a better version of yourself and your life. Changing how you talk to yourself, dealing with these 3 things, and letting go of the rest will help you succeed in your journey. Until next time, don't give up on the journey! It's challenging, but it's worth it! See you next week!